Mr. Pre-Schooler

Many times in my career I avoided selling things I didn't believe in...only supported those things that I could put my heart into.   Now, I was up for the biggest sale of my life:  selling the notion that it was okay for Jacob to go to Pre-School; it's okay for him to be a Big Boy now and carry his own lunch box and his own book bag; it's okay to go somewhere that he didn't know and meet new friends on his own.  The friends that he had at his previous school were those who were with him since he started there at 6 months old.  Now, I had to explain how to meet new kids, how to share when he didn't know if they "earned the right to share" and how to walk into the building holding the hand of a stranger and not his mother!  

I did it the only way I knew how to do it:  Be Excited.  So, holding my breath, I walked into Jacob’s bedroom with my camera and starting snapping away pictures to document such an Exciting Adventure.

 “Good Morning, Mr. Pre-Schooler!”  If he even sensed the huge lump in my throat or heard my stutter in my speech, I was done. 

Not taking away from his routine that he has grown accustomed to over the past few weeks, I carried my Beanie into the living room, set him on the couch and started his cartoons.  This was different from our previous school routine, as there was never any time to watch TV, or sit, or relax!  “Momma, can I watch TWO shows?”  As he lay there, waiting for the “How can you ask such a question NO,” he was surprised to hear my, “of course you can!”  “Even better, Jacob, do you want to have a picnic and eat your breakfast in front of the TV?”  He was in Heaven!  (Momma, keep being positive…and keep breathing.)

While he watched his two cartoons from Disney Junior, ate his flower-designed apple, I scuttled around the house making sure lunch was packed, forms were completed and Joseph was fed. I know I should have done all of this the day before, but I was too busy putting labels on every paint, marker, marker cap, and crayon…strict instructions from Mrs. Carol the day before!

Then, it was Get-Dressed Time.  I knew many mothers would spend hours on making sure their daughter’s bows were tied properly and the boys had shirts tucked in neatly.  I knew I’d feel better if Bean felt better, thus he sported his Lightning McQueen tee shirt!  And, man, was he proud to wear it! After teeth were polished and everything was as it should be, Jacob asked me if I was going to take his picture again.  “Momma, can you take my picture outside?”  Of course I can.

During the drive there, Bean was quiet.  And anyone who knows this incessant talker knows that there must be something wrong with him if he’s not saying a thing!  We talked about a few things that he was going to experience today and a few things of his routine there weren’t so routine:  Momma not walking him in, Eating lunch from his lunchbox, etc.  I let him get out of his seatbelt so he could see how other children were getting out of the cars and their parents were staying in their vehicles.  Then, it was go-time. 

Watching all kids exit cars--alone!

The teachers all line around the circle driveway and all help get about five kids out at one time.  You may or may not get positioned with your kid’s teacher.  We didn’t.  I pulled up, Jacob climbed into the front passenger seat (they only take kids from the passenger side and Joe is currently occupying the rear) and cautiously exited the car with Mrs. You’re-Not-My-Teacher.  I the hour (or maybe it was a second!) that the door was open, that lump in my throat got bigger and bigger and bigger. Please, Mrs. You’re-Not-My-Son’s-Teacher, please don’t ask me a question that would require vocal cords.  Then, in that split second, my Beanie turned to look at me with the “Oh, shit…this is really happening, Momma!”  Please, Bean, please don’t ask me a question that would require vocal cords…or a smile.  I drove out of the circle, looked back and saw my Baby Beanie walk into the building holding someone else’s hand.  The only words I could think of at this exact moment was "F*ck Your Positive!"

Joseph probably didn’t know what to do with his crying Mother, so he stayed away from me and played by himself.  Poor baby boy…your Momma will never let you go!  Once the liquor cabinet was rearranged (Don't know what else I could possibly do to pass the time.), I was ready to leave to get Bean.   I was fifth in the Car Pool line…damn four people in front of me!!  I placed my “Jacob, Mrs. Carol” yellow sign from my rearview mirror, as instructed and drove to my spot where my Beanie was standing, holding some lady’s hand.  Oh, yes...it was Mrs. Carol!  He could be holding the hand of a serial killer…never saw the person!  Didn’t see the curb either…sorry, Honda.

“Well, how was your day!” – finally the Real Excitement comes flying out of my mouth!

“Good.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing.”

Oh, no, sir.  We will get the details out of you, Mr. Pre-Schooler!!! 

And the gates opened: 

He loved his day, ran into former classmate Thomas of his at recess…they raced. He colored a picture with a “P” on it for “Penne” and “Peeper.” He doesn’t want to take a nap. He would love to go back to school tomorrow.  He likes his teachers.  He met two girls, Charlie and Savannah…they are going to be his best friends.  He also met Patrick and Michael.  He ate his lunch, but didn’t drink his juice so he’s really thirsty.  He wants to know if his daddy bought him a treat for his big first day at Pre-School.  He wants me to wash his lunch box and juice canister so he can bring it back to school tomorrow.  He is really going to like it there.  Finally my mouth formed into a smile, and I found myself saying, “Sold, sign here, Mr. Customer."

He’s taking a nap.